From Apathetic Anger to a Spirit of Joy!

Something wasn’t completely right with my body a few weeks ago. After waiting a week to see if the symptom would subside, I booked an appointment with my doctor who then scheduled me for an ultrasound. Thankfully, the receptionist phoned the day after the test, but her response left me more questions than answers as “nothing acute showed.”

Having interpreted that as nothing showed at all, instead of gratitude for a perceived negative test, I immediately felt anger. This is a common trigger for me when it comes to medical tests, from years of negative results when I was chronically very ill in my teenage years. Back then, I had spent a decade having multiple tests done every few months or so to figure out why I was frequently so ill. Finally, the medical teams put vague labels to things and ushered me out of their offices with “good luck.” It wasn’t until my body couldn’t sustain itself any longer leading to many emergency visits that they had to start all over again and find the true diagnosis. Thankfully, the Lord revealed it at that later time. But it’s left me with a nervous insecurity when it comes to any health issues feeling like medical professionals will think I just make stuff up (I am thankful for some excellent doctors I’ve had over the years).

When I shared the result of the current test with Michael and a friend of mine, both of them immediately spoke God’s truth to the situation. My heart didn’t want to hear it at first as it felt easier to sit in anger and self pity, but my mind knew they were right.

As they began to intercede for me, my spirit knew I needed to get on my knees in confession, prayer, and worship. I grabbed my Bible and in between songs uttered Scriptural truth in prayer to God and in speaking truth to myself. And as I did, I could feel the Spirit breaking the apathetic walls I was building which led me into a sweet moment of praise to God, turning my anger and fears into joy!

“Pray at all times in the Spirit with every prayer and request, and stay alert with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints.” (Ephesians 6:18) Intercession is a powerful weapon the Lord gives us for others and is not to be doubted for the work God does through it! Almost instantaneously, God started working in me as they were praying. This was a result of this same friend interceding for me for the past several weeks upon my request to be quicker to listen and to act in obedience when the Lord calls me to do something. So, the result of my praise in this situation was a double answer to prayer for both of us to witness and praise the Lord for His work!

The Lord is compassionate and attentive to our needs.

“Listen to my words, Lord;
consider my sighing.
Pay attention to the sound of my cry,
my King and my God,
for I pray to you.

In the morning, Lord, you hear my voice;
in the morning I plead my case to you and watch expectantly.”
Psalm 5:1-3 (bold added)

As a child of the Living God, you can trust that your King listens and acts upon your cries for help. So, praise, pray, and watch expectantly for Him to answer, and in the meantime, ask Holy Spirit to turn your heart to joy. Sit in worship to Him, pray Scripture, and wait for His goodness and love to meet you in that place.

(There was something that showed on the ultrasound and the doctor is graciously monitoring the situation. Nothing serious, thankfully.)