I See You, Sisters, this Mother’s Day

To my dear sisters in Christ,

I see you, sister; I understand you. My heart goes out to you because I’ve been there; I’ve felt the grief and pain of what this weekend symbolizes for you. You can’t bring yourself to go to church because you’re scared you’ll break out in sobs when the staff acknowledge all the moms in the room. You feel the weight of the word “barren” fall heaviest on you during this special occasion. You feel the ache in your arms to snuggle a sweet baby against your chest. You see other moms doing it and yet you question why God hasn’t given you one. A weary newborn mom looks your way, in survival mode to keep her little one alive and well, but you can’t hold her gaze because jealousy is trying to creep into your mind and heart. If only you could be exhausted and have a baby like her. Look to Jesus and ask for His strength and help. He will draw near to you.

I see you, sister. The momma who had that delicate little baby growing within you but lost the child too soon. This weekend makes you grieve in another way. You are a momma with a perfected little one who’s standing in the presence of our Savior, safe and secure. You grieve at the loss of firsts, dreams, and opportunities you’ll never get to cherish with him/her. You are a good momma. Thank you for the time you took to care for this gift God gave you for a moment. It’s okay to cry out to God in your grief. Give your burdens to Jesus. He loves you and your child.

I see you, sister. The momma who received her miracle child whether biologically or through adoption. You remember the near pain of defeat with the infertility and you deeply cherish the miraculous gift God decided was best for you, but you’re weary and find it too embarrassing to mention. You should be grateful your dream has been fulfilled, but you’ve learned that motherhood is the hardest assignment you’ll ever endure in your life. Though gratitude is in your heart, you’re exhausted and in need of help; help to raise this child, help to get back to feeling like yourself again after the long strain of infertility and then the adjustment of life with a child. It’s been hard and you’re tired. Sister, God knows your grateful and doing your best. It’s okay to ask for help.

I see you, sister. The one whose children have grown out of your nest and started their adult lives on their own. Some of their decisions warm your heart while some cause pain and disappointment. You long to bring them back under your wing to protect them from the world, but know this will never be again. They are now God’s to continue raising. They have been a blessed assignment. You’re grateful for the privilege to pray for them, and also trying to adjust to the fact that the almost all-consuming task is mostly over. The responsibility is lifted. Sister, look around you at the faces of the younger women in your church. Find the ones who don’t have children and wrap them in your loving embrace. Find the ones who have the babies and visit them, offering to help with groceries, meals, visits to hold the baby so she can nap. Find the mommas who are having hard conversations with their teenagers in those last pivotal stages before their not-so-little babies fly out of their nest. These women are your new assignment. They need your love and care. Be that spiritual mom and grandparent to them. Your assignment never ends; it just changes.

I see you, sister. The one who has peace in where God has her. The one who can stand in front of a group of women and bless all the mommas on this special day. How? Because the Lord is good and so faithful. Because He has redeemed the grief and pain. God has given His peace so you can pray for and bless those who are with child, because this is what being part of God’s family is all about; loving and supporting one another in Christ.

To all of you, those without children and those with them, my prayers for peace, discernment, strength, and joy are with you all. To the ones who long for children but God has not opened that door yet, I add prayers for strength and peace for you to see the beauty of motherhood as not one to be envied or jealous, but to bless and support in their times of need. You, my dear, are valuable to them. Your prayers of blessing for these families are like a sweet-smelling aroma to the Lord. Bless and you’ll be blessed. Love and you’ll feel God’s abundant love in return. Surrender, and find His peace. He sees you. He hears you. His plans will prosper in what He sends them to do, whatever that might look like for you. He will guide you; trust Him.