Finding Light in Your Darkness
Has your soul ever felt trapped in darkness? You cannot see any light, any hope on the horizon. You’re choked by fear, your heart is pounding? Lies and doubts fill your mind, but even though you know they are exactly that, you can’t seem to break free of them? You feel debilitated and unsure of what to do next…
I felt this way when I was 17. My ‘perfect’ world was crumbling all around me. My parents were headed for separation, though no one else really knew. My brother had moved away for school…and I felt alone. On top of it all, a spiritual warfare started breaking out in my vulnerability. The enemy stepped in and depression took over. As I shared a few weeks ago, the enemy’s main mission is to kill, steal, and destroy. So, when life kicks us around, you can be sure that he’ll be there too.
I was struggling in school. I was avoiding friends. Conflicts in our youth group at church even started to break out. I would try to sit in the church service on Sunday, only to start having a panic attack. The longer I stayed, the less I felt like I could breathe! Again, the enemy was right there filling thoughts in my head…what if the people find out I’m depressed? What if they find out I’m even medicated for it? What if they find out that our perfect family is crumbling apart? What will they say? What will they do? Who’s going to be the first to point the finger?
I would lie in bed at night, in the dark, feeling the fear overwhelm me. The enemy would attack me with lies of worthlessness. He would tell me that nobody cared. No one sees me. No one understands what I’m going through. No one can help me out of this. I might as well end it now and do everyone a favour. I would recite 1 Corinthians 10:13 over and over again. “No temptation has overtaken you except such as is common to man; but God is faithful, who will not allow you to be tempted beyond what you are able, but with the temptation will also make the way of escape, that you may be able tobear it.” When I couldn’t get the words out, I would say the name of Jesus over and over, trusting that there is power in His name alone.
And you know what? There is power in His name! There is strength and healing in Jesus’ name! No matter how hard it got, God is victorious and helped me to overcome!
God created light. Genesis 1:2-4 says: “The earth was formless and empty, darkness covered the surface of the watery depths…Then God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light. God saw that the light was good, and God separated the light from the darkness.”
As we read through the Bible, we see that God not only created light, but that He is light! God is light, and there is absolutely no darkness in Him! (1 John 1:5). There is absolutely no darkness in Him! There is nothing evil about Him or in Him. It isn’t in His nature. So, we can stand on His truth that all of the evil, worthless, no good thoughts that fill our minds do not come from Him! Therefore, it shows us when we hear those lies, that we aren’t left hopeless. God loves us and fights for us. We need to muster up the courage in these low moments and seasons to praise the Lord. The more we seek Him, even if it’s just calling out His name, the more we gain ground in the fight.
David battled in so many seasons of struggle. I mean, who wouldn’t break down from fear and exhaustion when you have the king of your country and his men scouting you out…for over 15 years?!? Later his son murdered his sibling and tried to usurp the throne! Yet, in His struggles, He sought the Lord.
“You rescue an afflicted people…
LORD, You are my lamp;
The Lord illuminates my darkness.
With You I can attack a barrier,
and with my God I can leap over a wall.
God – His way is perfect;
the word of the LORD is pure.
He is a shield to all who take refuge in Him.”
2 Samuel 22:28-31
Another time he asked:
“Where can I go to escape Your Spirit?
Where can I flee from Your presence?
If I go up to heaven, You are there;
if I make my bed in Sheol, You are there.
If I live at the eastern horizon
or settle at the western limits,
even there Your hand will lead me;
Your right hand will hold on to me.
If I say, Surely the darkness will hide me,
and the light around me will be night –
even the darkness is not dark to You.
The night shines like the day;
darkness and light are alike to You.”
I get that when you are depressed and in a season of spiritual warfare, it is very difficult to find the strength to do anything, let alone fight a spiritual battle. It seems impossible to listen to the words of truth when words of lies seems so much louder. However, when we bathe ourselves in Scripture, sing songs of worship to the Lord, or just say the name of Jesus again and again, it will show the Lord that you are desperate for Him. It’ll show Him that you love Him and trust Him to fight for you, and He will fight for you! He is the One that created you. “[He] knit you together in your mother’s womb” (Psalm 139:13b). Of anyone, He is the One that will fight most for you, and it’s a good thing, because He is the ruler of the entire heavens and earth. He’s the best one to have one your team.
You are definitely not alone! Life is definitely worth living! You are most certainly loved! He will “provide the way the escape, so that you may be able to bear it” (1 Corinthians 10:13b). Don’t give up. Hold onto Hope! Declare the name of Jesus.