Do You Find it Difficult to Make Decisions?

Do you find it easy or challenging to make decisions? What’s your normal plan in making a difficult choice? Do you make it on the spot, ponder the outcomes for a time, follow a friend or two’s advice, see what the popular trend is, or a mix of these?

It’s been a year of decisions, some fun and others difficult. To be honest, the past seven years has been learning how to make decisions for myself all over again. Since my brain injury, Michael had to make most of the decisions for me. At the beginning, it took a lot of effort to process any of my thoughts together, let alone putting any weight to them, like making decisions. As I progressed in my healing, I was slowly able to handle more things.

There was a time I can specifically remember a couple years ago, where a switch flipped and my independence grew, making it challenging for Michael and me, because he had gotten used to doing it all.

With the major healing that’s come in the past year, decisions have been a common thing for me again. We have returned to the common ebb and flow of marriage.

There have been fun decisions to make, like, “should I ride that roller coaster?” “How about going in those bumper cars to make my nephew’s day?” “Can I handle riding a tube down a small rapid river, and then walk for 25 minutes, to do it all over again?” “Hmm, that looks like a tall mountain! Do I think I can climb the whole thing?” After weighing the risks and consequences I might face for each one, I said, “Yes! I only live once and I’m not going to put myself in a small box in fear of getting another concussion.”

There have also been difficult decisions to make this year both personally and professionally. This is life: the good and the hard flowing simultaneously.

But there’s something God’s given me in which I rejoice so greatly: the wisdom of many counsellors.

“Without guidance, a people will fall,
but with many counselors there is deliverance.”
Proverbs 11:14

There is a community of older, wiser people who I can turn to at any time to seek their counsel on difficult decisions. Because they regularly abide with the Lord, I can trust they are seeking Him when I ask hard questions.

When I was younger, I used to look solely to other’s for the answer, without quieting my spirit to ask the Lord and listen for His.

Then came a time of transition where I tested everyone’s answers, while still questioning God’s direction. Often, I’d consider other’s advice, and then do whatever I had in mind anyways. (Oh those lovely late teens and early twenty years!)

But, by the grace of God, and quieting my wavering spirit, I learned the importance of abiding in the Lord, myself. Am I perfect at going to Him, stilling my spirit, and listening for His answer daily? Certainly not. But I’m seeing the necessity of it and learning to get on my knees and open my ears and heart to Him much more than before.

Now when I seek the counsel of many wise brothers and sisters, it is to confirm that which I feel the Lord has already directed me. Are others saying similar things to what I feel the Lord already said? Are they sharing similar Scripture, examples of principles I’ve recently heard, or sharing something with me that fits the context of my question before I ask it? Then I know I’m in tune with the will and word of God, and can advance in that direction.

Are what others saying going against what I feel I should be doing? Perhaps I need to return to the Lord and ask for His wisdom again. Is there something I’m missing; something He wants to teach me in this time of waiting? Are there sins or distractions blocking my heart and mind causing me to resist Him, and hearing His voice?

Wise counsellors are all people, just as you are. It is important to be careful who you allow to hold that place in your life. Do their lives model what Christ called us to be like? Are they honouring God with their words and deeds? Do they spend time in the Bible each day, allowing the Spirit to work in them to become more like Jesus? If yes, then seek their counsel. Pray that the Lord will give them and you His wisdom to know how to proceed. Then trust that He will give it to you all, because He wants you to know His will.

Be willing to have grace and kindness. Not everything someone says will be what you had anticipated. Neither of you may be right or wrong. It’s just ideas on the table for you to take everything back to the Lord and discern the final outcome with Him.

In all decisions, it’s about learning to depend on the Lord and walk in His counsel, in order to bring glory to Him.

Are you facing decisions to which you don’t know the answer? Are you tempted to be discouraged or overwhelmed in waiting for the result? Don’t rely on your own strength. Spend time with the Lord, seek His counsel, and that of trusted brothers and sisters in Christ.

“A wise warrior is better than a strong one,
and a man of knowledge than one of strength;
for you should wage war with sound guidance—
victory comes with many counselors.” Proverbs 24:5-6

Trust the Lord to give you the answer when His time is right, then walk in obedience, knowing He will work everything out for His glory.

“When we walk with the Lord in the light of His Word
What a glory He sheds on our way!
While we do His good will, He abides with us still
And with all who will trust and obey

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey

Not a shadow can rise, not a cloud in the skies
But His smile quickly drives it away;
Not a doubt or a fear, not a sigh or a tear
Can abide while we trust and obey

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey

Then in fellowship sweet we will sit at His feet
Or we’ll walk by His side in the way
What He says we will do, where He sends we will go;
Never fear, only trust and obey

Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey

Oh, Trust and obey, for there’s no other way
To be happy in Jesus, but to trust and obey

And ‘Tis so sweet to trust in Jesus
Just to take Him at His Word;
Just to rest upon His promise
Just to know, “Thus saith the Lord!”

Jesus, Jesus, how I trust Him!
How I’ve proved Him o’er and o’er;
Jesus, Jesus, precious Jesus!
Oh, for grace to trust Him more!

Oh, for grace to trust You more!”

Trust and Obey, version by Don Moen