I want to take some dedicated time to truly thank each infertile couples’ family and friends. Anyone that is connected to someone dealing with infertility can tell that it isn’t an easy trial to go through. But those family and friends that walk through it with the couple, they feel it and grieve it in their own way too.
First of all, thank you for taking the time when needed to sit and cry with them. Thank you for giving a needed ear to listen to them. I’m sure it’s difficult when you don’t have an understanding or sometimes struggle to know what to say. But the fact that you invest your time to walk with them through that says a lot.
Secondly, thank you for being patient. It is not something that is fixed overnight. Sometimes God brings miraculous intervention. Most times, it’s through a long process. Emotions and plans can waiver in a month or a second. Someone can be at peace about it when the sound of a baby’s cry or the snuggle of a newborn can throw them off. Thank you for loving them and seeing them through it regardless of what emotions might be presented at the time.
I also want to acknowledge your grief as well. It’s not just the couple that is missing out on being parents. You may be grieving the fact that you might not get to play the role of the aunt, uncle, or grandparent. You may not have cousins for your kids to create memories with. Or, as a friend, there may be a major piece of your lives that you no longer have in common. These are all fair reasons to feel grief yourself. It’s okay to take the time to do so.
The whole situation can be awkward. It can put a strain on relationships. Hopefully only temporarily though. It changes family get-togethers and kids’ birthday parties. It’s like you’ve lost someone without ever knowing them to begin with. You feel that hole, but don’t know how to fill it.
The thing is, you don’t. You can’t. All you can do is pray. Pray for healing. Pray for peace. Pray for comfort; For the couple, for you, and for all those affected by it.
The beauty is, whether a child comes or not, healing can happen. Restoration can come to the couple, to the family and friends, and to the whole situation. If everyone is willing to not give up, and to hold one another up in prayer, the Lord will answer. It might be in filling that hole with purpose, passion, and peace. He might fill it with a special child for the couple. Or, He may fill it with yours.
It could be that the infertile couple grows a love for your children and invests in them. It could be that God shows them what He wants them to put their time into. It could be a ministry or hobby that they can help others in. It could be a job that they get to love on others’ by helping them in various ways. The possibilities are endless.
Either way, don’t give up. Don’t give up on God, the couple, or the situation. Don’t lose hope yourself. Don’t even give a voice to doubt. Because God can do tremendous things. He can bring healing where it seems like all hope is lost. He can bring joy to the sorrowful and dancing to those who mourn. Though life might not be the way you had hoped and planned in your relationship with this couple, it could turn out to be even better.
So, thank you for praying when the couple doesn’t have words to say. Thank you for listening when the words of grief pour out of them. Thank you for cheering them on when they’re discouraged. Thank you for opening your home, life, and family to them when they feel lost. Thank you for your encouragement when they try to figure out which fertility option is best for them. Thank you for being you. You’re irreplaceable, valued, and loved.
