Sitting idle while you wait for your test results and next steps from doctors and the Lord is one of the easiest things to do in infertility. You can make the excuse that you don’t know what else to do but wait so why bother trying something new. I understand that being intentional with your time while your emotions are on a constant roller coaster ride can be draining just thinking about it.
However, there’s something that can happen in the waiting that can be hindering to yourself. Hiding away in your house after work is peaceful and safe. It’s nice to come home and plunk yourself down on the couch and mindlessly watch TV the rest of the night numbing your grief. But that in itself is draining you because it’s not life giving. Hiding away night after night is only allowing your mind to be consumed by your thoughts and worries about what to do next. Are you stuck in this pattern? Would you like to know how to get out?
An important lesson I learned is to take my eyes off of myself and put my attention onto others. It was taking my time and being intentional with it rather than letting it become idle in the bland ‘different day same story’ type mindset. It was setting aside my feelings for a bit and finding out where the needs were.
As Christians, we are called to be disciples for Jesus Christ. We’re supposed to “go into all the world and preach the gospel to all creation” Mark 16:15. That’s the last thing you want to do when you’re stuck in your own rut. However, this is where you’ll find life.
Discipleship isn’t something to take lightly. Take some time to pray and ask the Lord who you should pour your time and love into. Is it a child, a teenager, or an adult? Is there one person or many? Is it getting together for coffee periodically or leading/helping a ministry in town or at church?
The beautiful thing about discipleship is that you learn while you teach. You don’t have to run some fancy program if you don’t want to. Sometimes it’s just going for a walk or talking with someone about what you’re both learning or what the other person is struggling with. Then you can share Bible verses to help them and/or take time to pray with them about their needs. If Holy Spirit doesn’t put a verse on your heart while you’re with the person, you can go home and research verses on the topics the person needs help with. Then you two can speak God’s truth into his/her situation. Other times it might be that you’re just supposed to listen to them and then pray for them on your own time. You’ll know what to do.
You receive blessings when you intentionally give of your time and efforts. It’s not that you do it for that, but it’s amazing how God chooses to bless you for reaching out and allowing Him to use you in someone else’s life. We are the family of God. We are a representation of Jesus to the world. Being obedient to God’s call and allowing Him to use you in this way gives Him room to work in your heart too. Even though you may start discipling someone from a weary and tired point in your life, you’ll notice after a bit of time that your spiritual strength and energy are being renewed. Holy Spirit will give you what you need because He’s always faithful in showing up when His children do.
Giving of your time to others means you’re choosing to release your worry of infertility into God’s hands. It’s stepping out in faith and trusting Him to work out the details in that area of your life while you invest in His kingdom’s work.
There isn’t much you can do in your infertility but wait for the tests and pray for God’s direction. By putting your time into others, it’ll help fill the void you’re feeling and give you purpose. You don’t have to have all the answers. By being faithful to the Lord, He’ll give you what you need in your service to Him as well as in your infertility. Keep seeking Jesus and placing your trust in Him.
“God is our refuge and strength, a helper who is always found in times of trouble.” Psalm 46:1
