Father’s Day affects men differently. Some find it hard to deal with while others seem unphased, and that’s okay. There’s no wrong or right in this.
Regardless of where you stand in your process of infertility, there are some elements of your character that I’d like the privilege to speak into today. May these words be an encouragement to you.
- You are an honourable servant of the Lord
“Hallelujah!
Praise the name of the Lord.
Give praise, you servants of the Lord
who stand in the house of the Lord,
in the courts of the house of our God.
Praise the Lord, for the Lord is good;
sing praise to his name, for it is delightful.” – Psalm 135:1-3
Give the Lord the praise that He deserves. Honour Him for who He is in life and in trial. In any season and circumstance, the Lord is worthy of praise because He is always good. He sees you, His honourable servant. If you love the Lord, keep His ways. Honour Him through everything and He will bless you for your faithfulness.
- You are a leader of the home, whether you have children or not
“Wives, submit to your husbands as to the Lord, because the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church. He is the Savior of the body. Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives are to submit to their husbands in everything. Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself for her to make her holy, cleansing her with the washing of water by the word.
…To sum up, each one of you is to love his wife as himself, and the wife is to respect her husband.” – Ephesians 5:22-26,33
I know that this trial of infertility can be hard on you both. Being the leader of the family can add extra weight to this. But remember that the Lord comes first, and then your relationship with your wife. Everything else comes after that. You are to serve and lead as the Lord serves and leads the church. You are the servant leader of the home, giving guidance and wisdom while seeking the Lord in what to do next. Treasure that relationship with your wife. I know she’s emotional and probably seeming all over the place right now. Remember why you fell in love with her. Thank God for her. Treasure her. Pray for her. She will come around. Your position is extremely important. The Lord will be your strength and guide.
- Prayer Partners
“Finally, be strengthened by the Lord and by his vast strength. Put on the full armor of God so that you can stand against the schemes of the devil. For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the cosmic powers of this darkness, against evil, spiritual forces in the heavens.
…Pray at all times in the Spirit with every prayer and request, and stay alert with all perseverance and intercession for all the saints.” – Ephesians 6:10-12, 18
Remember that prayer is your most powerful weapon. Never give up praying for you and your wife. Bring your requests before the Lord. Come with confident hope, believing that what you ask in the His will, it will be given to you (see 1 John 5:14-15). The enemy loves to destroy and devour marriages. Infertility is one area that he can really get in and mess things up. Stay alert and on guard. Pray without ceasing. Look to the Lord with praise and thanksgiving, as you bring your requests before Him. He will fight for you.
- Dream
“When the Lord restored the fortunes of Zion*,
we were like those who dream.
Our mouths were filled with laughter then,
and our tongues with shouts of joy.
Then they said among the nations,
“The Lord has done great things for them.”
The Lord had done great things for us;
we were joyful.
Restore our fortunes, Lord,
like watercourses in the Negev.
Those who sow in tears
will reap with shouts of joy.
Though one goes along weeping,
carrying the bag of seed,
he will surely come back with shouts of joy,
carrying his sheaves.” – Psalm 126
*(brought them back from captivity)
Though this passage speaks about Israel returning from captivity, it is similar to someone overcoming a trial and seeing the victory of it on the other side. Never stop dreaming of the future. Make goals and do things that bring you joy. Work towards the things that the Lord has commanded/given to you. You will find fulfillment in the midst of your sorrows and waiting for the Lord’s answer regarding children for you.
I pray these passages are encouraging and motivating for you. Look to the Lord in all things. Remember the things He has placed in your life to give you purpose and a plan. You are a son of the Living God. Honour Him in all your ways and He will honour and bless you. He requires an honest and faithful heart. It may take time for His answers to come and peace to be fulfilled in the desires of your heart. But, brother, never ever lose sight of the loving and good God that you serve. He sees your hurt. He sees your tears in your secret places. He knows your longing and your desires. He will meet your needs and answer your cries for help. Find strength in Him today.
