You’ve been through a lot. The constant waiting and guessing each month are wearing you thin. You don’t know when the testing, questions, and options will end. The strain is starting to show on your marriage. You still love and respect one another, but let’s face it, the passion is fading with each hard month.
Okay, let’s hit the pause button. It is important to seek out an answer and find what the Lord wants you to do with this infertility. However, it is also important to still take care of yourself, your marriage, and your relationship with God in the midst of it all.
So, it’s time to do something for you. What do you enjoy doing? When was the last time your spouse and you went out on a date and didn’t talk about this topic? How long has it been since you’ve sat with the Lord and just thanked Him for all that He’s done and all that you do have?
I think summer is a perfect time to take that much needed break. Take a day or week off of work. Plan a vacation or even a staycation.
· Get out of the house.
· Go for a hike.
· Get your nails done.
· Get dressed up and go out for dinner. Or, get take out and have a picnic in a park.
· Go to the beach with a good book.
· Find a quiet spot with your Bible and some worship music and enjoy the day with the Lord.
It’s easy to get stuck in the obsession of trying to conceive and start your plan for a family. But the more you obsess and get frustrated about it all, the less your body is going to allow you to anyway. Trust me, I know that there can be a lot more involved with getting pregnant than stress or the lack of with your body. But, if you aren’t taking care of your body, mind, and spirit, something will eventually break down and you’ll be dealing with more than just the infertility stuff.
I don’t want you to stress about thinking of ways to make those breaks happen either. You can’t let yourself think about infertility 24/7. It’s unhealthy and you’ll forget who you are and what you’re made for. Still being able to enjoy life will give you other things to look forward to in the meantime.
Infertility research and testing is like a marathon rather than a sprint. It can take years investing into it. That’s why it’s so important to still be you and live life. Don’t put everything on hold. Treat it all like regular doctor appointments or looking into investment opportunities. It will help to remove some of the emotion from everything so you can function at your work, with your social groups, and your marriage.
Talk to your spouse tonight. What’s something that the two of you can do tomorrow to shake things up and have some fun? Is there something you haven’t tried before that you’ve wanted to do? Is there a road trip that you’ve put on hold? Is there a date idea you’ve wanted to try but your energy has all gone to the infertility? Pray for the strength and energy to get dressed up and go on that date. Then do it!
It might seem slow and take a bit to remember how to talk about anything other than the next appointment or fertility option. Give yourself grace. Enjoy the silence between you two if you have to. Go back to talking about work, the weather, and the dog if you need to. Start somewhere. The more you practice it, the easier it’ll get. The more you’ll be able to remain calm when the infertility talks do come up.
So, what are you going to do to have some fun? Perhaps you should surprise your spouse after dinner and take him out for some ice cream tonight. Get up Saturday morning, take him to the park, and play some catch. Or, hide the beach bag and take your wife to the beach for the day.
Regardless of what you do, just go do it! It’ll feel so good.
